


In Sickness and in Health

by Merakii



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comedy, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Slightly Altered Timeline, Smut, a bit of angst, ereri, levi is tsundere af, non-au, riren - Freeform, takes place after Levi's squad dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-10-24 21:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10750542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merakii/pseuds/Merakii
Summary: After an accident during one of Hanji's experiments, Levi starts to show more concern in Eren's wellbeing than expected, and everyone but Eren thinks it's more than just work related.Or, the one where Eren feels very awkward with his superior staring at him all the time.





	1. Don't look now

**Author's Note:**

> **This takes place after Levi's squad is killed**

“You're doin' great kid! Just a few more experiments, and you can get your cute butt to the dining hall for dinner. I hear they're making...”

Usually I was easily able to nod my way through Hanji's eccentric rambles without too much trouble, but with the amount of times she'd pushed me to try some sort of new way to shift today I couldn't bring myself to move anymore than I had to. She'd even cut off my arm and let it regenerate once before the Corporal had stepped in and shut her reckless experimenting down. I was completely okay with letting her use me to further their knowledge with the titans.. But she was getting a little ahead of herself, and I was a bit worried she was starting to give in too much to the obsessive titan craze she housed in her mind.

“Hey, Eren. Yoohoo- You okay?”

I had to have blinked about seven times when my eyes finally focused on her violently waving hand in front of my face. Oh, god. That was making me feel kind of nauseous.

“Yeah.. Sorry, what did you say?” I managed to force out a decent sentence – I pat myself on the back mentally for that one. I really wished she would stop swaying side to side like that though. I felt like I was on a boat.

“I said that they're making beef stew for dinner tonight to reward you all for your hard work,” Hanji's voice was coloured with amusement, but all I could really focus on was the image of beef chunks.

Oh, no.

“Eren!” The amusement was quickly wiped clean off of her face as I jerked forward and emptied the contents of my stomach on the grass in front of me. Well, fuck. My eyes squeezed shut, my hands gripping aggressively at my knees as I proceeded to hurl at least another two or three times. It was completely silent around me – which either meant the others were all gone for dinner, or thoroughly disgusted.

When my stomach settled enough for the spewing to stop, a hand rested hesitantly on my shoulder to ease the shaking of my sweat covered body. I couldn't focus, the world was spinning and I was moments from falling over into my own vomit pool.

“Get someone to clean this up, I'll get him to his room,” a low voice ordered calmly – though definitely laced with repulsion – and I found myself no longer worrying about keeping myself upright when I was suddenly in strong arms. The slight bumpiness signalled I was being carried off, and there was a quiet mumbling from somewhere above me, but before long everything was fading to a dull black.

\--

I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept this long. When my consciousness started to return, and the world around me began to tickle my senses, I couldn't help but jerk into an upright position in startled confusion. Why had I been allowed to sleep until the sun was able to peak through the windows and bother my eyes behind their lids?

“Easy there, brat. Wouldn't want you to hurl again,” a flat voice sounded from across the room, and my eyes quickly shot to where it was coming from in shock.  
“C-Corporal Levi. What...” I trailed off, finally starting to adjust to my surroundings: I was in different clothes than I last remembered – a clean shirt, and loose fitting pants – and tucked neatly under the blankets in bed. The sun was high enough in the sky that it had to have been around noon... But no, that didn't make sense. It had been at least three when... Oh.

“Do you remember yet? This amnesia thing is not my choice of afternoon entertainment.”

“Sorry, sir. I remember.”

“Hm,” His eyes met mine, a question melted somewhere in the hues of blue and grey, and I straightened my shoulders in attempt to be respectful. Something about the action triggered a slight twitch at the corner of his lips, and something that mirrored amusement tinted his eyes, “at ease, cadet.”

I hesitated, eyes slightly wary and unsure, before I slowly relaxed and scooted to rest my back against the wall. I was still tired beyond belief, but that wasn't new with the schedule they usually had planned. It just wasn't normal after twenty one hours of sleep.

“You don't have to stay, Corporal. I'm sure one of the others wouldn't mind a good nap sitting outside my door,” my lips curled slightly, attempting to make a joke regardless of whether he would find it funny or not. Either way, he didn't show any signs of however he felt about it.

He shook his head, leaning his cheek into his fist as his elbow rested on the arm of the chair. His leg was crossed over the other at the thigh, and he managed to look both effortlessly relaxed, and still formal at once.

“It's my fault you're in such shit condition, I may as well stay and make sure you don't die,” Levi's eyes stayed firm on mine, his hair falling slightly to partially block his vision, “It's not as fun if I don't get to kill you myself.”

I tensed, slightly put off by his words, but very quickly the stress melted away and I realized what he was doing. In his own twisted way, he was making a joke back.

“I wouldn't go down without a fight.”

“Precisely.”

A meek chuckle slipped through my lips, and my head turned forward to stare at my hands as they fiddled with each other in my lap. It was slightly unnerving being alone with the Corporal – in my bedroom, no less. I'd seen him every day for awhile now, but there were always others around – always environmental and social factors changing the way he reacted. Now there was just me and my boring room. Nothing to stop him from saying or doing as he pleased. The thought was both intriguing and terrifying.

“But... what do you mean it was your fault? You didn't do anything,” I mumbled, clasping and unclasping my hands absentmindedly.

“That's the point,” he sighed, slight irritation lacing his tone, “I didn't stop Hanji from taking it as far as it went.”

“It's really fine. I'm okay now, just a bit tired is all,” I raised my head slightly and made a show of smiling widely to prove my point, not faltering when his eyes narrowed.

“We don't need you tired and unconscious when at any moment we could be thrust into battle, Jaeger.”

Now that was when my smile faltered. I nodded in understanding, and tucked my chin back down in resignation. He sighed again and pushed himself up from his chair, eyes gazing down in my direction with uncertainty as the gears in his head turned in thought. A moment or two passed before he was settled enough to voice his decision.

“If you're fine, then get your ass dressed and down for lunch. We'll work on something that requires less energy after you've eaten,” his voice was stern, but his eyes were still weary, and I could have been fooled into thinking that there was even concern in his gaze. I nodded quickly and pushed myself up, padding over to the dresser and pulling out some training clothes before turning to face him to signal I was going to change.

“Ten minutes,” he ordered, before leaving the room.

When I was sure he'd walked far enough down the hall, I released the breath I was holding in a sigh and reached up to rub my shoulder. I had to admit, I was still a bit sore. But I wasn't going to let something so minuscule stop me from getting back to work. I knew what I was getting myself into when I went into training and joined the Survey Corps. I could deal with the ache brought on from trying to put my pants on properly, and just make sure to stretch lots later. With a determined nod, I pushed myself out of the room and hurried down to the dining hall.

“Eren!” Armin's voice might as well have sliced the murmur of voices in half as he called across the room, already standing and rushing towards me with Mikasa trailing close behind, “Are you okay?”

We met each other half way, and my hand reached up to scratch my head in slight embarrassment at the attention, “Yeah. Don't worry about it. Good as new! See?”

I lifted my arms and flexed them comically, a wide grin stretched on my lips simply for reassurance. Mikasa's eyes narrowed, and soon my cheek was being pinched between her thumb and forefinger. I yelped and swatted at her arm helplessly, brows furrowed in surprise and confusion.

“Food. Then you can tell us about how fresh and rejuvenated you feel,” her voice was deep and quiet as usual, but there was a slight edge of threat to her tone that signalled she didn't fully believe me. That was fair – she'd known me long and well enough to know how I belittled unfavourable situations to keep moving forward. The sound of my stomach rumbling caused her to tug further, and I cried out in disapproval before yelling out in compliance.

“Look who's back from the dead!” a voice greeted as we stepped up to the table and took our seats

“Jean!” Armin scolded before pushing a tray of food towards me with a soft smile. I mouthed a thank you to him before practically shoving the sandwich into my face. He laughed quietly, and then turned to finish up his potato.

“We were really starting to worry,” Krista spoke up, her eyes still containing a bit of concern as she slid a glass of water in my direction.

“Speak for yourself,” Jean retorted around a mouthful of bread. Mikasa shot him a glare, and he quickly shut up and averted his eyes.

“Don't look now, but the Corporal's been staring at you since you arrived,” Ymir's brows wiggled teasingly, her lips curled into a smirk. My eyes drifted across the hall, crossing numerous faces until they caught onto a gaze so intense I wasn't sure why I hadn't noticed it before. He didn't shy away when I looked back on him, and I was sure it was some act of dominance and strength. I slowly turned my head back to my food, but his stare didn't falter. I felt it heavier on me than ever.

“I said not to look,” Ymir pointed out in a sing song tone. My cheeks flushed slightly and I threw a small piece of potato at her playfully.

“You should have seen him yesterday. I only got a quick glimpse before the two of you disappeared, but he looked distraught,” Armin threw in, placing a small lump of potato on my plate as if to replace what I'd tossed. He really was cute sometimes.

“Now that you mention it, I noticed that too,” Connie chimed in, and I shook my head.

“You guys must have seen wrong. Corporal Levi's got more important things to worry about than a kid who can regenerate.”

“You're underestimating the condition you were in yesterday, Eren. But I think they're exaggerating about him, too,” Mikasa's eyes were still twinged with worry, and I could tell she was scanning me for any permanent damage as I ate. I gave some thought to it, though. Had I really been that bad?

“Ah, Eren. You're looking better than ever. I think well enough to continue our experiments?” My gaze lifted from my disappearing meal, and found Hanji stood at the edge of the table with her hands on her hips. It didn't take long for me to find the Corporal stood behind her.

“In your dreams, Shitty Glasses,” Levi interjected, shooting her a scowl that wasn't too uncommon, but a bit harsher than usual, “Keep your grimy hands off of him until we're sure he's properly recovered.”

I ducked my head a bit as the insults started flying, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. Armin sent me a sympathetic look as I continued to pick pieces of bread off and eat them. I shrugged in reply and smiled appreciatively.

“Finish your food quickly, and meet me in the yard, brat,” Levi's arms crossed across his chest, and his brows came in together as if annoyed – which wasn't too hard to believe, really, “you're with me today.”

Ymir made a low whistling sound, and Connie choked on his potato while trying to contain his laughter. Levi sent them the deadliest glare I'd ever seen, which caused Connie to go blank even though Ymir was still smirking.

“Oooooh, Eren's getting some extra credit.”

My head shot up quickly, whipping in the direction Levi'd started to walk off in, and sighed heavily in relief when he appeared to be out of earshot.

\--

“Are you an idiot, or do you just enjoy pissing me off?” Levi shouted from the ground, his fists pressed into his hip bones in irritation.

“Both, Sir!” I cried back to him, dangling by my leg as I hung off the wall on one wire. Maybe it was all the blood rushing to my head, but I managed to be bold and throw a joke at him. He could easily end my life in this position, so maybe it wasn't wise. But I swore I saw the corner of his lip twitch.

He let out a 'tsk' and shot his grapple hooks up into the wall, coming to my rescue and freeing me. He didn't let me down gently though. Once we were close enough for it to not be fatal, he let me drop to the ground.

“You're so useless when you're not a titan. Even then, it's questionable,” he huffed, fixing his jacket to fall in place again.

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir,” Ah, it must have been the blood flow after all. Upright, I was not as bold.

“Cut it out with the whole “sir” this, “sir” that, bullshit. God, that's so annoying. Just call me Levi.”

My words must have dried up and crumbled in my throat as I sat there unblinkingly staring at him. Call the Corporal by his name? Was he testing me? Did anyone else call him so casually? No one but the higher ups. He couldn't have been serious, right? He'd probably kick me if I tried. But if I didn't, and he'd wanted me to.. I'd get kicked, as well. His lips tugged down into a scowl as the toe of his boot met my thigh. It wasn't as hard as I expected, but it was bound to leave a light bruise. Turned out I was bound to get kicked regardless.

“Oi, answer me when I speak to you.”

“Yes, Sir-- Levi,” I stuttered.

“Sir Levi, huh? Ah, I'm just so extraordinary to you that you place me amongst nobility?” He raised a brow, keeping the rest of his features in a stony cold, “Knock it off. I piss and shit like the rest of you.”

“Yes, Sir!” Well fuck.

“You really are an idiot, aren't you?” his fingertips pinched the bridge of his nose, looking absolutely flabbergasted with what he was dealing with.

“Yes, Sir,” Okay, that one was planned. There was no telling if he appreciated it or not, though, as he swept a hand through his hair and shook his head.

“Alright, back to work you lazy brat. Go again.”

I nodded and straightened myself, staring up at the wall with a determined gaze. It wasn't as tall as any of the three major walls, but it was tall enough to get some good practice with the maneuver gear. Levi was coaching me on some more advanced ways to move, so I could be more reliable on the front lines. I wasn't bad with the gear on it's own, but I had an inkling he was trying to teach me how to fend for myself without the urge to bite into my hand. He never judged my decisions to shift when faced with the choice, but I knew he wasn't too keen on the idea of the monster I had inside of me.

I shot out the hooks from my gear and flew up towards the top of the wall. As I approached, I released the left and swung my body around to shoot the left hook further right than the remaining hook. I was about to repeat with the other side when the momentum left me smashed up against the wall. My head smacked against the stone, and I hung in place as everything blackened for a moment at the impact.

“Eren!” Levi's voice from below shot up in an alarmingly loud cry. I shook my head and cracked my eyes open to shout back in reassurance.

“I'm okay!” I slowly released the lock on the wires and slid back down the wall before letting them whip back into their slots. My head hurt. God, that was awful.

“You can't wait so long to start moving, or you'll hit the wall, dumbass.”

“Yeah, I figured that out,” I rubbed my eyes and held my hands over them to block out the light as I tried to soothe the headache.

Levi sighed and I felt his hand ruffle my hair. My hands shot down in shock, my eyes widening as I stared at him.

“That's enough for today. Go join your friends in the stables,” His head turned lazily towards the shabby building just down the field, where I could see a few horse heads sticking out to enjoy the rays of sun shining in on them from the west as the sun started to fall, “There will be no training tomorrow, but do not stay up late. Get some rest, Jaeger.”

I stood and watched his back as he walked off until he rounded the corner and left me alone in the field.

“Eren!” My head turned towards the stables, and I saw Armin waving his arm from the entrance, with Mikasa just a few steps behind him. I glanced one more time in the direction Levi'd gone before jogging towards the others.

“Training done for the day?” Armin's smile was bright as always, but it didn't quite reach his eyes the same as it used to. I guess that's what you have to expect in a world like this.

“Yup. Is it just you guys here?”

“Jean's here too,” Mikasa answered, adjusting her scarf to be tighter around her throat.

“Oh, yay. An extra horse to clean up after,” I grimaced.

“It's an open stable, Eren. I can hear you,” Jean grumbled as he shovelled from the back.

I grinned.

“Good.”

The cleaning went surprisingly easily, with little to no horse shit flung at anyone, and the gang were left sat together on stacks of hay chatting as the sun started to lower itself in the sky.

“So, how was your private time with Corporal Levi?” Jean piped up, leaning his head back to rest against another haystack and enjoy the sunset, “Did he show you some new positions to try?”

I could have sworn I saw Mikasa's lip twitch. Traitor.

“He did actually, and then we made love in a field of lavender as the birds sang a mellow song of romance to accompany our mating,” I rolled my eyes and placed my arms behind my head, getting comfortable to fully enjoy the off time we had.

“Sounds lovely,” Armin teased, leaning over to nudge me playfully. I nudged him back, and Mikasa clunked our heads together, a soft chuckle slipping out in amusement as we protested.

“I can't tell if you're joking or not, what with all the sexual tension between you two,” Jean threw back, and I huffed in annoyance.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Really, I'm betting an entire day of chores he'll be staring at you again all through dinner.”

An entire day of doing the other's chores on top of their own? Oh, fuck yeah. I could get on board with a day off from cleaning.

“You're on Kirstein.”

Of course, a bet wasn't official without a handshake. I may have grabbed his hand a little hard, which may have started a little squeezing war that only ended with Mikasa karate chopping our joined hands and leaving us both in pain. Armin shook his head in defeat, and favoured ignoring us to watch the sun go down.

“This is nice,” I pointed out, back in a comfortable leaning position against the hay, sighing a bit in content. Mikasa hummed in agreement, stretching out her legs and finally allowing her shoulders to slump, unguarded. It was nice to see her relax. She'd been so tense the past few months, I was starting to forget how she looked when she was at ease.

“As nice as it can be, in our situation,” Armin chimed, always seeing reality rather than illusion. His brain was useful, but it always reminded us of what our world was truly like, even when we were tucked away in a safe training facility. It was a blessing, and a curse.

We watched the sun set in comfortable silence, enjoying the sight of trees turning into silhouettes as the sky painted itself in orange and pink hues before encasing itself in darkness. It was comforting, and it felt like a true moment of bonding for us, to watch the sun disappear and leave us somewhat defenseless in the dark.

“Alright shitstains, I'm staving. Let's go eat.”

Well, maybe we hadn't bonded that much with Jean, afterall.

\--

  
“I think you owe me a day of chores, Jaeger,” Jean's smirk was really starting to piss me off.  
I shook my head, not able to bring myself to turn my head and look towards the table I knew Levi was sitting at with the other higher ups. I wouldn't know what to do if I saw him looking at me again. Hopelessly, I looked to Armin for some help, and he smiled sympathetically, his eyes very quickly looking over my shoulder in the direction I stubbornly avoided.

“Sorry, Eren. I think he's right. Corporal Levi's been watching you like a hawk.”

I lowered my head down to the table, all but banging it against the wood in defeat. Why, of all days, did the Corporal have to pay me attention like this? Why couldn't he just call me a brat for being weak, and go back to his duties?

“Also, don't look now, but Hanji's got the worlds biggest shit-eating grin directed at you, too,” Ymir added.

I turned my head ever so slightly and peaked over at the table, as if my arms would act as shields. I immediately regretted my decision as I locked eyes with him again, and Hanji laughed out loud. Groaning, I turned my face back into the wood.

“What's with you and not listening to my warnings?” Ymir snickered, and Krista hit her arm.

“He's either planning on killing me, or planning on torturing me, then killing me.”

“I don't think Hanji would be laughing at losing a test subject,” Armin pointed out.

“Just admit it, Jaeger. The Corporal's got the hots for you,” I didn't need to look up to know Jean had the douchiest smirk on his face. I wanted to punch it off his lips, but I didn't need to get in trouble and wind up alone with Levi again. The whole situation was making my stomach churn.

“I'm feeling a bit sick, I'm going to head to my room,” I lifted my head, and pushed away my tray of half eaten food towards Sasha before sliding out from my seat. Mikasa grabbed my arm and looked up with worry, which I tried to soothe with a reassuring smile, “I'll be fine, I just need to sleep it off, and I'll be good as new tomorrow. Promise.”

She was hesitant until the last word, which brought her to drop her arm and nod. We trusted each other. We had no reason not to, and every reason to. I tightened the scarf around her and waved goodbye to the group before heading out of the dining hall and up to my room – thankfully out of the basement this time.

I didn't have the energy to deal with this today. Tomorrow, if Levi continued acting so odd, I'd confront him. But tonight, my stomach was doing acrobatics, and I just wanted to sleep.

With the image of the Corporal's intense stare burned into my mind, I drifted off.


	2. No Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren does Jean's chores, and Levi isn't staring at him anymore. A bit of bonding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! Probably full of a crap ton of lame jokes, but I think I'm funny so you don't have to ;)

“You're up early.”

Sleepily, I cracked my eyes open a bit wider to peer at the source of the sound. Corporal Levi sat at the end of table with a book and a cup of tea, his brow raised in curiosity. Ugh, it was too early to talk.

“I lost a bet, and I have to take over Jean's chores today, so I need extra time to get it done,” I mumbled, the last half muffled by a yawn. Scratching my head, I continued walking towards the stove, filling the kettle with water and turning on the flame to bring it to a boil.

“A bet, huh? What was it?”

I froze for a moment, fingers pausing around the bag of coffee grounds before chuckling awkwardly and shrugging it off.

“Something stupid, don't worry about it.”

He hummed, and took a sip of his tea before returning his attention to the book. I sighed quietly in relief, and grabbed a mug. Carefully, I scooped the grinds with a spoon, and placed them into the kettle to boil with the water.

“Did you want a cup of coffee, too?” I asked out of common courtesy, looking over my shoulder for some kind of confirmation. Levi's brows twitched inwards, and his eyes glossed over with a twinge of hurt before he composed himself and shook his head. I felt like I was invading on something personal, and the discomfort led me to turn my head away immediately.

“There's a few rolls of bread in the cabinet. You shouldn't drink coffee on an empty stomach.”

I nodded slowly, and opened the wood doors to pull out the small paper bag on the bottom shelf. The bread was slightly hard, but it was still fresh enough to have been made in the past couple days. I grabbed my drink, and shuffled towards the table, sitting a few seats down from the Corporal.

The silence wasn't particularly... uncomfortable, per se. It was just not very... comfortable. I didn't want to start talking aimlessly, and he didn't seem too eager to have a conversation either, so I picked at my bread, and drank my coffee quietly. With the majority of the others still sleeping on their rest day, it was almost eerily quiet, but the sound of sipping was oddly calming in return. My eyes wandered every once in awhile to the other side of the table, and I licked my lips to wet them as they turned too dry. He looked very calm. His hand held the tea cup by the top edges as usual, and every once in awhile he would set it down to flip the page in his book. It was strangely domestic looking, with only a button up on, his jacket elsewhere. He didn't look so much like a soldier, but like your every day civilian enjoying a moment of peace.

“Is there something on my face, or are you just enjoying the view?” He broke the silence, and I jumped in a startled embarrassment. Laughing awkwardly, I lifted my mug to my lips and looked away.

“Just thought I'd return the favour from yesterday,” I joked, but very quickly my mouth turned dry and my throat tightened. That was a mistake. I shouldn't have said anything. He was being relatively normal today, too.

“Is that so?” He mused, his lips twitching in what looked like a slightly amused smirk. I closed my eyes and prayed I would disappear, “you feeling better today?”

I opened my eyes slowly, and locked our gazes, his eyes completely focused on me now. I nodded, searching for whatever information I could find in his expression, but as always, I was left with very little. He returned my nod, and closed his book before standing, “let's go.”

I raised a brow in question, pushing myself up warily. He stepped over in my direction, grabbing my mug and placing it in the sink along with his tea cup, “don't you have chores to do? I'll help.”

“No- C- Levi, you don't have to-”

“I'm aware of that. But this place is disgusting, and I don't trust you to do the work properly.”

My shoulders drooped in defeat, and I nodded, turning and heading off to the cleaning cupboard to grab the necessary supplies. Jean was in charge of sweeping, mopping, dusting the windowsills, wiping the doors, and watering the garden out front. Which meant I was supposed to do all of that alongside the dishes, laundry, and wiping all the tables in the dining hall. Today was going to be a fucking blast. Sarcasm heavily implied.

“You start sweeping, I'll do all the wiping and dusting. You're awful at that,” Levi grabbed the cloth and bottle of cleaning solution and started off, leaving me with the broom and a look of absolute confusion.

“Hey, I'm not that bad!” I called after him, frowning when he shook his head without even looking back. With a huff, I began to sweep. I had the entire floor to deal with, and I was not going to waste any time. I wanted to at enjoy at least a bit of the nice weather, maybe take a nap under a tree in the shade, or play around with the hose while Armin and Mikasa tried to wrestle it from me to get payback. It was the perfect day to lounge around and have fun, but Levi just had to go off and stare at all me day. It was really his fault I was in this situation, and if I had a pout on my face it was all because of him.

Time disappeared entirely as I lost myself in thought sweeping room by room.

“Oi, Jaeger. What did the broom ever do to you?” I looked up from my millionth pile of the day and found Levi stood with a hip cocked, and his brows raised. It wasn't until I relaxed my face that I realized I was frowning so heavily my face muscles had started to hurt. I laughed sheepishly and scratched my head as he rolled his eyes, “I've checked all the rooms, you're good to start mopping. I've finished wiping everything down and watered the plants. I'm going to start on the dining hall before everyone wakes up and has to eat on dirty tables.”

I nodded, beyond trying to argue him at this point. But really, I was just amazed he'd managed to do all of that in the time it took me to sweep one floor. He really didn't mess around when it came to cleaning. I swept my last pile up into the pan and threw it outside before starting on mopping.

I was hanging up the laundry on the line to dry when the sound of a throat clearing snapped me to focus, and caused me to lose my balance on the box I was standing on. I fell right to the hard floor of the roof and winced as the pain shot up my spine from my tail bone. The sound of quick foot steps accompanied the loud thump of my ass hitting concrete, and soon I felt strong hands grab my shoulders. I looked up in surprise, and found Levi staring down at me with his eyes plagued with worry for only a split second before he masked it.

“Good lord, you're a fucking mess,” He scolded, squeezing my shoulders so tight I could only yelp out loudly in pain. He let me go quickly, letting my upper back hit the floor again as he tutted his tongue. My eyes were so wide I could probably see all the way to Wall Sina if I wanted to. That's how eyes work, right?

“Stop hurting yourself.”

My lips parted, mouth hanging open but with a lack of words. Was the Corporal actually worrying about me? Seriously, what the fuck was going on?

“I don't need you turning into a fucking titan on the roof.”

“Yeah...” I replied in a daze, still staring at him as if he'd told me the moon was on fire.

“What?” He snapped, his eyes turned colder than ice. I stuttered unattractively and lowered my gaze, unable to form anything coherent, “You missed breakfast. I saved you a plate, but if you don't hurry down there, Potato Girl might get to it first.”

I tried that words thing again, but after a moment of more failed attempts, I shut my mouth in a tight line and watched him leave. This was getting really weird.

\--

“What did you do, Jaeger?”

I looked up from my book with a blank face, really not anticipating whatever insult based joke was about to come out of Jean's mouth. I gave him a pointed look, asking to continue.

“Corporal Levi isn't staring at you today.”

I shrugged and turned my attention back to my book, more relieved than anything at this turn of events. Maybe he'd been in a mood yesterday. Regardless, I was glad I didn't have to worry about being stared at anymore.

“Did you piss him off?”

I rolled my eyes, and leaned into Mikasa, nudging her as if to signal her protection. She shrugged and turned her head towards where Levi was sat at a table with a book in his hands, completely focused, “Leave Eren alone, Jean.”

“No, really. I'm honestly curious about what he did this time. Did you guys do it? Were you bad? Is it small?” Jean's face was twisted into this awful expression that I assumed was some kind of fucked up humour, and he rubbed his hands together, “If you don't tell me, I'll spread that rumour around. What did you do?”

“God, Jean. I really don't know. Nothing unusual has happened, so he's probably just doing what it looks like. Reading. You should try it sometime. Might help expand that teeny brain of yours,” I shot back at him, closing my book and pinching the bridge of my nose to ease the headache forming there.

“Hey Connie, did you hear Eren's dick is small?” Jean shouted across the field to where Connie was, and my head shot over to the table where the Corporal had now turned his attention to my group of friends. Great.

“You're an ass, Jean,” I glared at him as I pushed myself up, leaving my book with Mikasa as I walked over to Levi's table. As I approached I noticed he held the same book from the morning, now opened to a much later page. His legs were crossed under the table, and he positioned just the right way so the sun wouldn't shine directly onto the pages. By the time I reached him, he had already fixated his gaze back on the text, leaving me to awkwardly stand at the edge of the table when he didn't greet me.

“It's not small,” I blurted, immediately cursing myself internally.

He didn't look up as he spoke, “Why would I care, Eren?”

“Uh...” My mouth hung open unattractively as I tried to come up with any kind of response, my cheeks starting to warm as the blood rushed there, “I just thought... You know, facts. Injustice. I'm going to stop talking now.”

“Please do.”

I nodded curtly, and shuffled in awkward and uncomfortable silence for a couple minutes before slowly lowering myself to sit on the bench beside him. I realized I had made a mistake in leaving my book behind, as I was left with nothing to occupy myself with, and an amazing lack of things to talk about. Not that I was ever good at conversation starters when it came to Levi.

I cleared my throat, and glanced over at him, my palms flat against the table, “Thank you, for helping me with my chores this morning.”

His brows furrowed, and he turned his head, confusion barely touching his features, but still there.

“I would have been working for several hours, most of the day even, but you managed to get things done in triple my speed, and take work off of my hands. So, thank you, Sir.”

“Levi.”

“Thank you, Levi.”

He continued to look at me, as if trying to figure out what I'd just said to him. When I caught the suspicion he was about to wave it off, I quickly started to speak again.

“I'd like to do something. In return. As a thank you. A proper one,” I proposed, turning my body towards him.

“That's not necessary, nor do I want you to do anything for me. Go play with your friends, brat.”

“Really, I'll do anything you want. Anything you tell me to do, I'll do it,” I promised.

“Eren, I'm your superior officer. You have to do what I tell you to, anyway.”

“Not if it's not work related--”

“Ooooooh~ What are we doing that's not work related?” I jumped as a sudden, higher pitched voice replaced the deep tones of the Corporal's, and before I could move, Hanji was sat on the other side of the table, her chin resting in her palms as her elbows pressed into the wood.

“Nothing of your concern,” Levi rejected, turning his attention back to his book. I could tell he was working to keep his expression hard and stoney. I peaked curiously over at Hanji, trying to read her expression as her eyes filled with mischief.

“Aw, come on. Nothing new to report? I haven't heard anything new in over a month.”

I blinked in utter confusion, no idea where the conversation had turned. But Levi seemed to have caught on, and raised his eyes to send the darkest glare in Hanji's direction. She just grinned and leaned forward a bit further. Her gaze shifted to me, and she brought her grin back down to a smile.

“Eren, isn't it nice how Corporal Levi traded in his own personal time to take care of you when you were unwell? He seems all mean and tough, but he really is a gentle man. Isn't that right, Levi?”

Said man only set his jaw and ignored her, focusing on anything but the woman across from him.

“Um, yes, Squad Leader. I find it very admirable how Levi cares for his cadets,” I sat straight and enunciated properly, trying to project my respect for both superiors at the table. Levi's eyes shut, and his brow twitched as Hanji's smile grew.

“Oh, you're on a first name basis, now, are you?” Her laughter only made me grow more tense in my seat.

“With the amount of time I spend with him and his pack of brats, I'm getting sick of hearing pubescent voices screech 'Sir' at me constantly. Forgive me for requesting my actual name be used,” The Corporal sounded as if his teeth were slightly clenched, and I felt a million times more uncomfortable hearing his annoyance – even if it wasn't directed at me. I shifted from side to side to relieve my awkwardness, only to have a hand dart out to grab my thigh.

“Stop squirming,” Levi hissed, and I quickly went still. He removed his hand and used it to close his book before standing, “Eren, you're on lunch duty. Get to the kitchen.”

I nodded, still a bit dumbstruck as he walked away. As blunt and unapproachable as he was, I really did admire him. He always seemed to surprise me.

“Hey, Eren?” I quickly turned back to face the officer across from me, who held a seemingly... warm expression on her face, “Don't let him win.”

My brows furrowed in confusion. Win what? What was he trying to win? How would I stop him from winning? Did I value my life so little I'd try to get in his way? Did she think I wanted to die?

Before I could get the words out to question her, she shook her head and shifted her gaze to watch the disappearing Levi slip into the building, “Ever since the incident with the Female Titan, and the loss of his squad, he's been rejecting his own personal feelings even more so than usual. You're a good kid, Eren. Even Levi sees that. Don't be afraid to push his boundaries. I think you'd do him some good.”

My gaze lowered at the mention of Levi's squad. It had been my fault, after all, that they died. And that-- Oh. Crap, Levi was injured too, wasn't he? And yet he still helped me with training yesterday. My eyes shut in frustration as I realized how selfish and careless I'd been the past few days. I was starting to wonder if my titan shifting powers were even really helping the corps with all the damage I'd been doing.

“If you start regretting things now, you'll dull your future decisions. That's what Levi said once,” Hanji reached across the table and lifted my face with a finger under my chin. I opened my eyes and looked at her with pain etched into my features. She smiled sadly and patted my cheek, “He doesn't blame you. Now, hurry and get to the kitchen before he comes back to kick your ass.”

“Yes, sir!”

Her laugh followed me off to the kitchen.

\--

The rest of the day went smoothly. Jean laid off the dick comments, Mikasa and Armin were also assigned lunch duty which led to a round of laughter as we told jokes while preparing food, and the weather stayed nice well after the sun set.

Which is why I was not prepared to shoot up in the middle of the night covered in sweat, and shaking. Hazy memories of bloodied bodies scattered across the forest floor, and flashes of battle I couldn't clearly remember. My mother being dropped into the mouth of a titan. Guns pointing at me as I kneeled on a court room floor. My father, and a syringe.

It took a few moments of calculated breathing to calm myself down enough to stop shaking, and a few minutes after that to bring my mind back to reality. As far back to reality as you can come when your nightmares are based on real events. There's only so much living in the present you can do in a world like mine. But there's only a small amount of space reserved for living in the past that you mustn't linger on. Reality was cruel.

Realizing sleep would not be finding me again any time soon, I pushed my blanket aside and pulled on a new pair of pajamas to replace the damp ones clinging to my body. Then, I set off to get a glass of water. As quietly as I could, I padded down the halls and slipped into the kitchen. I really should have put two and two together when I saw the torch light illuminating the room, but apparently common sense was too much to ask that late at night. 

“What are you d--” I spit my water out in surprise, choking on whatever I breathed in with a gasp, “--oing in here this late, Jaeger?”

I coughed to relieve myself of the uncomfortable tickling in my throat and turned to find Levi standing in the door way with a different book than before. He didn't look like he'd even tried to sleep yet.

“I-- I couldn't sleep, so I came to get some water.”

He eyed me suspiciously, making his way to the table to sit down and get comfortable, “You aren't supposed to be unsupervised, you know. Especially not now, when you're on the verge of being taken into Military Police custody.”

I tensed, aware that I had unmeaningly broken a rule, “I had a nightmare, and woke up with a dry mouth and throat. I apologize.”

Quickly, I started to move, fully intending on going straight back to my room. But before I could make it to the door, Levi stopped me with a hand on my arm and brought all of my attention to him.

“Oi, slow down. You didn't even get to drink your water. If you're going to risk all hell being set loose by ignoring commands from higher ups, you may as well finish your task.”

My skin lit up in pink hues, embarrassed by my lack of thought regarding the situation, and slowly slinked back to grab my cup of water before sliding sheepishly into a chair at the table. I took a sip of my water and cleared my throat, noticing the lack of legitimate concern on his face and bringing myself to be strong enough to joke.

“I think you're exaggerating a bit.”

He raised his brows and crossed his arms in front of him as he leaned back into his chair, “oh, no. If you think they won't have my ass hanging above the fireplace over a glass of water, you're mistaken. Those shit head MP's will take any excuse to have me exterminated so I'm not a threat to them.”

I laughed awkwardly, trying to mask my shyness. I really didn't know if he was joking or being honest.

“I'm sure many people would love to have your ass hanging above a fireplace, sir.”

His brows raised, and I sputtered, wincing at how completely stupid I made myself out to be – no wonder people liked to pick on me for laughs.

“I mean that as a compliment-- You know what, never mind. I have no idea what I'm saying,” I hung my head in pure shame, and curled my fingers around my cup as if it would protect me.

He reached up to scratch his head where the hair was shorter, his eyes still watching me in a mix of confusion and amusement underneath his ever stony expression, “I'm really not sure what to say to that, Jaeger. But I'll ignore your 'sir' fuck up because you had the balls to compliment my ass. Or, try, anyways.”

“Thank you.”

I lifted my glass and took another sip, though when the water touched my tongue I realized just how thirsty I was and ended up gulping the entire cup down. I sighed in relief, and licked my lips to catch the remaining drops clinging there.

“What's on your mind?” Levi hadn't touched his book yet, and instead continued to lounge and keep his eyes trained on me. I looked up at him through my lashes, as if they would shield me while I shifted a bit uncomfortably. I wasn't really the type to talk about this kind of thing. It was just easier to deal with it myself, and move forward. Words weren't my specialty.

My hands slid from the table and into my lap, where I wrung them together anxiously. He kept his gaze on me and tilted his head to the side expectantly. I guess he was owed an explanation considering I had broken curfew rules because of it.

“A bit of everything, I guess,” I kept my voice low, training my eyes on the table in front of me instead of him, “flashbacks. My mom... my titan state... recent events...”

I almost felt the air go stale at my last comment. There was no mistaking what I was referring to. A moment of silence passed, and I licked my lips which were already dry as bone again while I waited for him to speak. The sound of a chair scooting across the floor met my ears, and suddenly Levi's hand was in front of my face, grabbing my cup. I blinked repeatedly in confusion and watched as he filled it up with water again before setting it down in front of me.

“Eren. You made a choice in a situation where it was impossible to know the outcome. There was no telling what was going to happen,” He sat in the seat beside me, and I realized we had never sat this close together before, besides on wagons and in carriages, “no one expects you to know everything. Nobody can. We all just have to keep making the choices we feel we won't regret. And if you make the wrong choice, don't waste your emotions on remorse. Use your knowledge to fuel your next decisions. If you can't make decisions for yourself, you're as good as dead.”

As I looked at him, I noticed his eyes were slightly glossed over. He looked as if he was remembering something while he spoke. As if his words were an echo of those spoken long ago. It felt personal, and I worried about invading his privacy by noticing, but I didn't want to look away.

“I'm sorry,” I breathed out, not able to back it up with strength – I had none in that moment. His hand shot up to grab my jaw, leaning forward as his eyes stared directly into mine.

“Don't.”

My lips parted, and I could see my reflection in his eyes: the pain on my face and the helplessness I let off.

“They were your friends,” I whispered, and his grip tightened.

“Fine, Eren. They were my friends,” He started, and my mouth shut tightly closed in anticipation, “I'll never hear Oluo imitating me again. I'll never taste Petra's coffee again. I'm the only one left of them. So it's my responsibility to carry on their spirit. I can't waste energy on grieving. They wouldn't want that. So shut the fuck up, because it wasn't your fault they died. They died fighting for freedom, and they were prepared for that outcome.”

I averted my gaze, swallowing thickly, and nodded. When he was sure I wasn't going to bring it up again, he loosened his grasp, and slowly lowered his hand. There was a kind of gentleness to it. He could have ripped his hand away, or added a harder grip for good measure, but he made a point of lingering softly for a second to erase tension. 

“Drink. Your lips look like they're going to fall off from being so dry.”

A hand flew up to my lips to touch them, and I noticed they were starting to crack. I gulped down the water, and before I could set it down again, Levi's fingers reached over to snatch the cup from my hands. 

“Get to bed. Training resumes in the morning.”

I nodded and stood from my seat, saluting him – which earned a roll of his eyes and a shooing gesture – and scurried back to my room.

I fell asleep imagining Levi drinking a cup of coffee with a smidge of a smile on his lips.

And I had no more dreams that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's chapter two! I'm sorry if my writing style is kind of weird for you, I tend to write in short blocks rather than a fluid chapter. I'm so used to writing one shots that this whole... long story doesn't register properly in my mind as I write. I'm also not sure when it's right to stop the chapter. This chapter and the last probably could have been one chapter together, but I'm not sure. I'll try to get better at the whole.. filler part. I tend to just jump to the good stuff. 
> 
> I got a comment on the last chapter about it seeming like it was moving too fast between our boys, but remember this takes place after the encounter with the Female Titan, so they've had quite a bit of time together and have an established relationship past being in the same division of military. You can see in the manga especially how the two have mutual respect for each other by this point, and have gotten closer.
> 
> I'm aiming to upload again by next week :) Thanks for reading!!


	3. Wonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi talk about a life without war. Feelings start to be shown.

Training resumed. Mostly rested from their day off, the cadets were thrust back into practicing their techniques while awaiting word from their superiors within Wall Sina. Levi was given orders to refrain from being involved while injured, and so dejectedly sat at his favourite picnic table, his shoulders covered in a black coat rather than his usual military jacket. I couldn't help but to peak over at him every so often in worry. Occasionally Levi would meet my eyes, and I would forcefully snap my features back to neutral, so as to avoid the annoyance creeping up on his face. His expression almost read “dumbass, stop feeling responsible.”

Once I spent a little too long staring in his direction, and ended up flipped over Reiner's shoulder, thus on my ass two feet away. I cried out to him in pain, and he held out a hand to help me up with a playful scolding for being spaced out. I laughed sheepishly and continued on with training.

When we were released for lunch, I could only sigh in relief and take a breather before looking up to scan for Levi. Regardless of what his eyes were telling me, I couldn't help but feel to blame for the whole thing. My poor choices put our strongest ally on the sidelines.

“Eren!” My head turned in the direction of a vaguely familiar voice, and I blinked as I recognized one of the other cadets. She'd been in a different training facility before the Survey Corps, but I met her when she joined us.

“Hiana,” I tried my best not to look distracted as I smiled at her, “How are you?”

She returned my smile and stopped walking as she stood a couple feet away, “I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a minute?”

I blinked in a bit of confusion, and my eyes flitted around the crowd of retreating bodies before resting my eyes back on her face. Levi must have had left already. I'd find him later.

“Sure.”

“Great, come with me.”

Though surprised, I wasn't really shocked when she grabbed my hand to pull me off in the opposite direction of the others and towards the small stretch of forest. She had always been... forward. When we stopped a few meters into the shrub, and just to the side of the path, I felt my curiosity blossom. She sat on a large rock that was often used as a bench, and gestured for me to take a seat beside her. I did so slowly.

“I wanted to tell you something. And I guess, ask you something too.”

I nodded, a bit dazed at how quickly my plans had changed from hunting down the Corporal to sitting with a pretty girl, “Yeah, okay. Go for it.”

She took a deep breath and pushed her hair behind her ears before turning to face me fully.

“I like you. Will you go out with me?”

My lips parted, eyes widening in a mix of shock and confusion. I'd never really had a girl confess to me before, especially when we'd barely talked much to begin with. I must have been silent for too long, because she started to shift a bit uncomfortably. 

“I- Sorry. Just, is this really the time to worry about dating?” My eyes were still stuck wide open, my mouth dry as I struggled to let her down, “I'm sorry, I can't. Not with everything going on right now.”

The hurt flashed across her eyes, but she swallowed and nodded in understanding, reaching forward to take my hands for a short moment, “It's going to be okay. We'll win this.”

I sat there for awhile longer after she hurried off back to the dining hall, lost in the haze of all the emotions surging through me. Unless we managed to fight off the titans completely in my lifetime, I would never truly know the feeling of dating or settling down with someone. I was going to fight until the end, even if that meant never feeling love. I'd decided that a long time ago, but being teased with it was a real slap in the face in an already tough time.

“You need to stop sneaking around without supervision, Jaeger. Or I'm really going to have to punish you.”

I jumped, startled, and looked up to find Levi standing on the path with his arms crossed over his chest. I stood immediately and saluted him, which earned me a smack to the arm. I winced and made a small sound before dropping my arms and trying to look as casual as possible.

“I saw one of the other cadets leave, and figured the other missing child would be nearby. Were you too making out back here?”

I shook my head quickly, arms flailing to reject his thought process, my face pink at the idea.

“N-No. We weren't-- She... I... We were... Shit..” I tried, but ended up whispering by the end of it. He still didn't look satisfied, and I felt a wave of nerves wash over me. Shifting my weight from side to side, my head lowered and I found myself swallowing thickly before speaking again, “I don't know how close you and I are, but if I needed to talk about something, would you listen?”

His lips curled into a frown, and he looked like he was about to shoot me down with an offensive quip when he stopped and thought for a moment longer.

“Sit.”

I quickly scrambled to my seat at the rock, and kept my eyes trained on him as he sat himself down where Hiana had been before. I didn't dare speak, careful not to overstep my boundaries when he was being so open towards me.

“Don't expect me to give you any helpful advice. I'm not caught up with the lingo you kids are using these days, and I never really experienced any of this youthful drama you seem to be having with your peers. But I'll listen.”

I nodded, turning my gaze back to the path with a sigh.

“It's not... really about any of the others. It's more about myself. Peering through a looking glass and seeing a glimpse of a future I'll never have. One I tossed away without a thought. I don't regret it... But I wonder,” my hands rested on my knees, playing with the bunched fabric on my pants mindlessly, “We'll either be there when we win, or we'll die fighting. We'll either start lives outside the walls, or we'll know nothing but our cities within them. When I was nine, I didn't even worry about the titans breaching the walls. I had no reason to. There'd been nothing for one hundred years. I was safe, with Mikasa doing most of my chores and letting me take credit for it. Protected from any possible danger by my mother's embrace, and wondering if one day I'd see the ocean when my heroes returned in victory. Wondered if when I was older, I'd become a member of the Survery Corps – I admired them, though I didn't yet fully understand just how big a threat the titans really were to us.

“I pictured winning freedom, and starting a family. Well, as much as you can picture those things when you're nine. I thought maybe I'd be okay retiring if we didn't find freedom in my lifetime, and marrying within the walls. When I got a taste of what the titans could do, my dreams changed drastically. I vowed to put an end to this. My mother's dead, my father's missing.. I'm a titan. One of the creatures I despise. So I'm going to fight until I die. I've never dated. I've been too focused on working towards becoming a soldier. I'll probably never marry, or have kids. I want to fight, but I wonder what my life would have been like as a husband, and a father. If the world wasn't so messed up... What would my life have been like?”

The silence that followed my mini monologue felt like an eternity. But he had listened, so I was patient.

“That girl, then..”

“Asked me to go out with her,” I pushed my hair out of my eyes and tilted my head to look up at the sky through the trees, “and my first thought was 'how can anyone think of wasting their energy on love when we're at war?'”

“Your way of thinking is correct. Her priorities aren't straight,” He leaned back, resting his weight on the palms of his hands, “But it's not wrong to wonder. Wondering is the reason we ventured outside of the walls in the first place. Just don't let it cloud your judgement.”

I was surprised. I really hadn't expected such an honest answer from him. I'd really just expected the diplomatic answer, not anything more.

“Have you ever... Wondered about this kind of thing? Have you ever had someone you'd throw everything away for?” I was probably crossing some lines, but it wasn't every day the Corporal put his wall down – even a little.

He studied me carefully, as if he were searching for something on my face. I felt a bit self conscious and rubbed a bit at my cheek as if there were something there. I swear I saw the corner of his mouth twitch upward into a hint of a smile.

“I've wondered. And maybe I might be able to feel that way. But I'd rather fight for them than sit on the sidelines and worry about their safety being compromised.”

I let out a soft breathy laugh and smiled at him, feeling at ease as he let me in a bit deeper than normal, “It sounds like you're speaking from experience.”

“Maybe I am,” he mused, turning his attention to the swaying leaves of the trees as the wind tousled them.

“Well, whoever they are, they're lucky to have someone so strong to protect them.”

The only response I received was a vague humming sound, and when I turned my head to look at him, I noticed his eyes were hazed over like he was lost in his thoughts. I started to really understand, then, how much he trusted me. He'd told me before, but it was looking at him and being able to see even the slightest bit of vulnerability that secured the fact that he had given me his trust. I had been feeling like an intruder for seeing his emotions, but he had been letting me. 

“Hey, Levi?”

His brow twitched in a mildly startled confusion as his eyes met mine – he'd been deep in his mind, but made no attempt to hide that from me as he gave me his attention.

“Are we friends?”

His brows furrowed, lips parting as he seemed to examine the question before proceeding, “Friends... Eren, I'm your superior officer.”

“Erwin is yours, but he's your friend isn't he?” I retorted, not exactly pushing, but definitely curious.

“I suppose. That's a bit different, though,” He shrugged, crossing his legs at the knee, “Sure, brat. We're friends. Are you going to invite me to a sleepover now? Are we going to gossip and do each other's hair?”

I was going to respond, but paused at the thought of tying Levi's hair in pigtails and ended up laughing a bit harder than I should have. I had to admit it felt good to feel my abs work to keep up with my hysteria. Levi, however, was looking at me like I had grown a third arm – though I noted he looked at least a bit amused. I wiped the tears that had sprung into my eyes and took a calming breath, though a few more chuckles slipped out against my will.

“I can schedule a sleepover if you want, but we'd have to share my bed,” with much courage, I wiggled my eyebrows and fought – and failed – to keep my mouth from pulling into a grin.

“Jaeger, you need to stop hitting on me if you don't want me to kick you in the balls,” He couldn't seem to help but smirk either.

“But, Levi. We're friends. It's only natural I start oiling up the ol' charm machine.”

He raised a brow and looked over me passively, “I worry for your other friends. You're not even good at flirting.”

“Show me a good example then, Corporal,” there was a challenge in my tone, and I could see the glimmer in his eyes as he caught it. He seemed to hesitate for a brief moment before his expression changed completely and I felt slightly dumbstruck.

“Oh?” the smooth, seductive rumble of his voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand, his eyes darkening with an edge of playfulness as he leaned in closer to me, “you want a taste?”

A gulp worked its way down my throat and I felt myself both salivating and going dry mouthed as he continued to move closer.

“You're really cute when you're flustered, you know,” he smirked, his hand lifting to hold my chin, “Almost makes me want to bite the blush right off of your cheeks. I bet you'd be delicious.”

I'm pretty sure my face couldn't have gotten more red at that point, and when his face blocked everything else from view, my eyes shut defensively and I froze in place.

He responded with a ghost of a laugh, and then he was gone.

“Don't bite off what you can't chew, kid,” he murmured, clearly amused.

I huffed and my eyes shot open again, a light glare directed at him, “I was expecting a pick up line, or something. Not.. that.”

“Pick up lines are for losers and children. Adults master the art of seduction.”

“Dually noted. Maybe you could teach me,” I tried for the most sexy voice I could conjure up, and he rolled his eyes.

“You're really not good at this, just stop trying,” He deadpanned, pushing hair out of his eyes.

I let out a soft laugh and resumed a comfortable silence. Our eyes returned to the bits of sky we could see through the trees, and I felt a wave of peace wash over me. To anyone else, it may not have made sense to joke about flirting after having a serious conversation about never experiencing that kind of life, but to me, it was a relief. A reminder that happiness wasn't completely eradicated from my life. That I could still smile and laugh when I had a break. That it was okay to not be so serious all the time.

“Thank you, Levi.”

“Stop with the emotional crap. I'm starving, let's go eat,” He pushed himself up from the rock, and with one more quick look at me, headed back down the trail towards the castle. I quickly got up and followed after him.

When we reached the dining hall, we split up to our separate tables. I got teased relentlessly by my group of friends, and when I looked over to Levi's table, it seemed Hanji was giving him an earful about something as well.

He met my eyes, and I playfully twisted my face seductively when the others were busy bickering. He shook his head, but the small smile on his lips betrayed him.

I counted that as a victory.

\--

_Levi_

Fuck. That kid was really starting to get to me. As angry, irrational, and high strung as he was, he was also beautiful, caring, and funny. It wasn't supposed to be like this, and I had never planned for it to get to this point. Hell, when I first met him I couldn't stand the thought of him being one of them.

But he wasn't, really. He wasn't the monster I had thought he was. There was no way he could ever be compared. That kid wouldn't hurt any innocent being if his life depended on it. It was one of the reasons I-

Damn it, Levi. 

A sigh slipped through my lips as a knock sounded at the door. As I raised my gaze, Hanji's head peaked through the crack and her smile was enough to give me a headache.

“Do you need something?” I could only be suspicious when she had a shit-eating grin plastered on her face. It was annoying to begin with, but with Hanji it always meant more.

“Nope~,” She sang, sliding through the doorway and into my office with a bottle of amber liquid in her hands – no doubt liquor, “But you do!”

My fingers laced and I set my chin atop of them, my elbows supporting me on the desk in front of me, “and you really think I'm going to drink at a time like this?”

A knowing look passed through her eyes and I could already tell where this was going. I already knew who was behind all of this.

“You're on orders to take it easy until you're fully healed. And, we just got word Erwin and the others will be gone for at least five more days,” She informed me, crossing the distance to stand opposite me at the desk, “You're in no shape to train, let alone fight. So drink up while you finally have a chance to rest.”

I rolled my eyes, taking in the bottle with an all too aware glance, “Erwin put you up to this.”

Hanji shrugged and popped the bottle open, setting the two glasses that had occupied her other hand down on the table, “He may have granted me access to his personal stash. I grabbed the good stuff, don't worry.”

I raised a brow, scoffing at the second glass, “You're drinking too?”

“I can handle alcohol like you wouldn't believe. A drink will barely affect me.”

I waved her off, and didn't comment any more as she poured our drinks. If Erwin had anything to do with this, I didn't really have a choice in the matter. If I refused, he'd find something else. He was the type to always get his way, and I wasn't going to tempt him with a challenge.

“So,” the sound of a chair scraping the floor sounded as Hanji sat down across from me, sliding one of the glasses in my direction, “You enjoy your alone time with Eren?”

“Of course you're asking about him. I should have known you wouldn't leave it alone,” a soft huff fell from my mouth and left fog on the rim of the glass as I lifted it to my mouth to take a sip, “I don't know why you're pushing this so hard. I'm twice his age, and his superior. That's pretty illegal, don't you think?”

A frown tugged at her lips as she shook her head, “Levi, it's not easy to find love in this cage of a world we live in to begin with.”

“You couldn't possibly call this love Hanji. It's just a stupid crush on a teenager. I'll get over it.”

“You shouldn't want to get over it! You've never looked at anyone like that before. I'm not willing to let you push that away because of something as stupid as age. He's not five, Levi. He can make his own choices,” The disapproval in her voice was irritating beyond belief. The fact that she thought she had any say in it was even more irking. 

“And he has. He's devoted himself to the fight for humanity, and he's not interested in dating. He shouldn't be in this type of situation. It's called prioritizing,” I sent her a look over the edge of my glass, as if to tell her to get her own priorities in check. She didn't seem fazed in the slightest.

“I don't think you could call it dating. You two would never have a normal relationship anyways. You're both too serious to touch any of that fluffy high school stuff,” She mused, nursing her drink and leaning an elbow on the table top, “Whenever I try to picture you two together, it's... intense? If you two developed feelings, you'd still both put the war above all else. There'd be no courting, or dates. Just dependance on one another, and some wicked stress relief sex.”

I laughed sarcastically and set my glass down with a thud, “Once again, he's fifteen.”

“Teenagers are all about sex, Levi,” She threw back, “and emotionally, he's much older than that. He's had to grow up much too fast. You'd know a thing about that.”

For as much as she was annoying then, she managed to make me go silent with that last part. I did know a thing about that. I knew many things about that, and I knew Eren did too. I saw myself in him in that aspect. He wasn't allowed to act his age. He'd had that stripped from him, as I had.

“I think you need to mind your own business.”

Her lips pressed into a tight line for a moment, and I could tell she was studying me as I took another sip. My fingertips were pressed much too tightly into the glass, but I had faith it wouldn't break with how thick it was.

“He's good for you. I know you know that. You don't have to commit to any choices right now, just let things go the route they're going and see what happens.”

I gave her a curt nod in response and downed the rest of the liquid in the glass to signal I was done talking about this. She seemed to respect that, and kept her thoughts to herself.

Another drink later, I was starting to feel the calming buzz of the alcohol in my system. It was unfamiliar, but I had been acquainted with it before. In the underground, alcohol was a widespread painkiller – both physically and emotionally. I'd allowed myself to indulge a bit, then, and occasionally with Erwin after he brought me into the Survey Corps. He'd always liked to pour a glass in the evening before Maria had been breached. Now it was less common, but every so often he would be seen cradling a drink in his office. I had preferred to keep my distance.

“So, how's your leg?” Hanji's voice brought my attention back from my own head, my cheek pressing into my palm.

“A pain in the ass. It's pretty much a ghost until I move, then suddenly it wants attention,” my hand subconsciously fell to my thigh, as if to acknowledge the injury's existence, “Makes me feel like an asshole for sitting down, but worse when I'm too active.”

She clucked her tongue and started to pour me a third drink before returning to her glass which was now filled with water, “Well, it probably wouldn't have been so bad if you hadn't aggravated it by partaking in training the other day. You of all people should know when to stop.”

My immediate thought was that I had been watching over Eren that day after his fainting spell. She'd said he was good for me, but he been the bad influence in that situation. Eren and “know when to stop” went together like babies and blow torches. I had been too worried he was going to hurt himself trying to prove me wrong that I'd let him get back to training. I should have known he would have put himself in a dangerous position regardless.

“Yeah, well, I'm reaping what I sowed.”

She let out an evil laugh, “You should sow some seeds in Eren.”

“Really, Hanji? We're back to that?”

“Sorry~ Sorry~” She sang, resting her crossed arms on the desk, “what would you even reap from that? I wonder if there's a way to allow for male childbirth. That would be so fascinating.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose to alleviate the migraine starting there and pointed to the door with my other hand, “out.”

I must have saved a nation in a past life, because she actually left – albeit with loud laughter.

I could only appreciate the irony of that thought as I nursed what I promised to be the last drink of the night, then went to bed.

For once in a long time, I slept fairly well. I silently thanked Erwin for prescribing me a good dose of liquor as I dozed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand chapter three! If you don't know who Hiana is, she's a character from the Attack on Titan live action movie. She definitely had a thing for Eren - it is canon that Eren Jaeger has touched a tit. Now you know.
> 
> This chapter marks the true start of everything, and Levi's feelings are made known. A lot of possibilities stem from this point!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Well! My first story here on Ao3, and my first AoT/SnK fic ever! I'm pretty nervous, so be gentle. I usually write oneshots, but here I am with a chaptered one. Not sure how long this will be, but definitely not too long! 
> 
> Just a little intro chapter to set the pace and setting ;)


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